oh and on a sidenote....

I fuckin love ebay. It rocks my world and entertains the shit outta me.

Where else would you be able to find huge saggy "life like" boobies to wear for the low, low price of $63.95?!




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Holy Shit!
I got a frickin award! Yes I did recieve it last week, and yes, I might seem ungrateful because I didn't post it right away. But I assure you that I am not ungrateful just horribly distracted.
Yep, it's my first. Thanks to Magical Mystical Mimi for popping my cherry.

I've been quietly blogging away, with few and far between followers, little notice taken and a few
brief breaks away wallowing in my own self pity for being one of the many unnoticed. So many thanks anyone who chooses to stop by and take part in my randomness.

Now down to business.
I'm supposed to list 5 of my favorite things....so here goes. In no particular order.
1. Bigfoot
2. Bacon
3. Zombies
4. Penis
5. Coffee

I'm a simple girl, what can I say. Doesn't take whole lot to make me happy. Unless we're talking about a penis. I like a big penis.

I know that the "award rules" state that I should be passing this on to 5 other blogs that I think worthy...
Well anyone I would pass this on to already has it, soooo....yeah.
Again thanks to everyone!!!


Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

You know what my home decor is missing?

Damn right.
I'm missing a vagina in a jar.
Happy Sunday.



Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...



'Nuff said.







Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Hey Lily, this made me think of you.

I shit you not (get it HA HA) these were actually sold at one time...


 Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

If I seen someone at the dog park doing this to their poor dog, chances are I'd shame them into leaving and never coming back...

That and I'd have to tape up posters of them with their dog wearing this. Fail doggy owners *sheesh*




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Not gonna lie, I totally did the "how not to bond with your baby". Sans baby coffee of course, I'm only half way ridiculous.


Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Yep, that's my excitement level right about now!!
Since Lily and I are fed up with not being able to fit into that perfect little blog box, we're creating our own combined effort of offensiveness and awesomeness.
Maybe some of you will come over and take a peak, maybe you wont.
But why wouldn't you want to? Unless your sensitive to nudity, swearing, and general hilariousness...But if that's you then you probably shouldn't be reading this, or Lily's blog either. Please kindly move along then.

Hope you all enjoy the new adventure!!
www.unladylikeladies.blogspot.com



Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Since I was neglecting my computer this week, I do not have anything fabulous and/or disgusting to share for Vagina Sunday  *sad face* BUT fear not I still have What the Fuck Strangeness to spread.

Can you blame him? Times got tough after the show was cancelled....A Ninja Turtle has still got to keep bread on the table.
Happy Sunday.



Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Since I was stuck in the house all week with a super sick child, I decided I need to do something other than housework. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at how easy these guys were to make. I tried to follow a pattern but ended up bullshitting a bunch of it. Their not perfect but their awesome!

Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Even though Valentine's Day grosses me out and  I don't celebrate it, I know some of you suckers do.
So here. I'm being all romantic and shit.

Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Congratulations Everyone! We made it to another Monday! Well at least I hope you all did....

If you did, this is some pretty awesome advice you should be taking.
That will cure your "case of the monday's"



Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

First point.
Who thought stuffing a whole chicken in a can was a good idea?
Second Point.
Who decided that this idea was so brilliant they'd actually purchase one?

And do you see what's printed on the can?
"fully cooked" "homestyle cooking"
I'm pretty sure they just greased up a past the expiration date chicken and shoved that bitch in a can, and prayed they wouldn't get sued.



 Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

I tend to agree.

All the ridiculously hot, good smelling men usually end up with all the other ridiculously hot, good smelling men....


Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Happy Vagina Sunday.
Or, Horrible Vagina Sunday. I cant decide which is more fitting.

I'm willing to bet these pictures were sent with a ransom note...Barbie torture is the only rational explanation for this.





Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Yep, that pretty much sums up how I feel about religion.




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

For those special nerdy ladies in your life...

I'm thinking the "realistic heavy breathing action" would make it an epic good time.

*And yes, I made the Darth Vader breathing noise the whole time I typed this. Don't judge, you know you did too when you read this*





Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Which is exactly why I'm so awesomesauce.




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Happy Monday

My spare tire wishes that no.3 was enough to stop my stomach from giving into my CrapDonalds cravings...*sigh*

Also no.5 is exactly why I dont shake hands...



Skype Call Recorder

So apparently Sunday is vagina day around here. So we're just gonna get these two out of the way so we can start Monday off on a less or maybe more traumatizing note.

I'm guessing she was thinking that this is a good way for her to express that she felt her vag was a beautiful flower.
I on the other hand, look at this and think she must be one fugly looking chick to need all the attention drawn to her hoo-ha.
And looking at this makes my own girly bits hurt.

And then we close off this post with this...

Is this her way of telling guys that if they try to stick it in her bum they wont get it back?
Usually, you know, normal people would just have that awkward conversation where they explain that no, butt sex is not on my list of things to do.
But yeah, I guess this could work too?



Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Okay, yes I'm nerd. Not an uber awkward, socially inept kind of nerd. But I'm a nerd. I like nerdy things and nerdy boys. So when I seen this, yes I knew that it was supposed to be a Sarlacc Pit Monster.
BUT...

For everyone else that isn't a nerd, come on now. You cant tell me that you didn't ask yourself, "Why? Oh Why? Did someone make such a scary vagina?"
Ah Nerd Crafts, unintentionally scarring normal people.




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Oh hey. You got the sniffles? Here, take a tissue from my box.

Sheesh, you don't want one? You'll use your sleeve instead?

Wasn't this "crafty" person ever told that you don't go near a vag that's spewing white stuff? That's just bad news...




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

True Story.

I had a friend in 8th grade with this exact hair cut. Unfortunately it's not this guy....but that would have made for a much more awesome story.




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on sidenote...

So I stumble on www.obviouswinner.com . I got sucked in and spent a good two hours cruising, instead of completing laundry or dishes or any other horribly boring housewife task I should have been doing.
And now I will share some of my favorites that I discovered...

Yes, I know most of you see this and think yuck. I say yum. I'd eat horse if it was covered in bacon...

Fuck yeah. Homo erotic Unicorn man. Notice the assless chaps? I sure did.

That's just mean. You know that after the flash went off for this photo this cat scratched the shit out of this chick. She deserved it.

*Rolls Eyes* This is just.
Just, fucking gross.
Covered in marshmallow spread? That bitch better have cleaned up that mess when she was done...

I cant decide if it's the rainbow colors that I love, or the dripping T-Rex penis's....
Either way  *Genius Pervet Award*

I hope this is for a lesbian wedding...

That is all.




Skype Call Recorder