oh and on a sidenote...

I've fallen in love. Deep dirty love. I would have the entire set in my kitchen. They give me a creepy lady boner.

Shuttling Shakers

Toothed Tongs

Tasting Spoons

And that's just a few. Go here to check out the rest. Amazeballs!


Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Proof the Internet is like having my very own diabolical twin complete with random brain syndrome.
I searched *mayonnaise* in Google.
These are my top pics for things I found that have absolutely nothing even remotely close to having anything to do with mayonnaise.

My best guesses as to why these were  included in my mayonnaise google:
Random Man showing the results of what happens when you use mayo as hand lotion.

This is what I happens to me too, when I realise I'm out of mayo.

Horrific side effects of using mayo as a lubricant.

And, well....I can kinda see why this one was included in the search. They probably went through a whole lot of mayo to get here....

oh and on a sidenote...

I want a meat baby.

Then I want to devour him.

oh and on a sidenote...

This house gives me mini seizure's. And just thinking about them makes me want to take a bleach bath.
I tried to watch Hoarders, but spent the entire hour yelling at the tv and dry heaving. I have a touch of OCD when it comes to cleanliness...so yeah it's completely alien to me how in the world not only your house could get this bad, but how you could live in it too....

Some people need to face facts. You totally should not have agreed to take all those cats. This is taking Little Old Cat Lady to a new level. This is the Little Old Cat Lady if the Earth was actually Hell. Nasty gross, worst nightmare Hell.

oh and on a sidenote...

So a couple of doctors just put out a book. A book filled with the epic stuff people stick up their ass.
Here's my favorite.

Seriously, someone please explain to me how it's even possible to get Buzz up there. This guys asshole must be made of some super human stretchy shit....




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

Quick someone find me this painting!

The awesomeness is blinding....I would pay large sums of money for this treasure....




Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

AH HA! Proof that someone else actually stumbled on to my blog!
I got an email today requesting that I put out a quick post about a Skype Call Recorder.
Riviera for Skype is a Skype call recorder. It automatically records Skype calls and conversations to MP3 files.
Very convenient for recording interviews, tech talks, conferences, audio casts, pod casts for learning later, etc.

You may get more food for thought from Riviera for Skype 3.6.36050 home page: http://www.jiteco.com/skype_call_recorder.html
Here is a link to download Riviera for Skype 3.6.36050: http://www.jiteco.com/download/riviera/riviera.exe

Go ahead check it out.
I think this might be very handy....maybe not for educational uses...cause well, you know, it's me.


Skype Call Recorder

oh and on a sidenote...

It's time for a feast!!!

Bwahaahaaaaaa A Zombie Feast that is!!!
I would love to serve this for a dinner party and force everyone to eat with their hands.

oh and on a sidenote...

This post is specifically for Lily, because she's lazy.

Take a seat. Enjoy the ride.

oh and on a sidenote...

And this other gem, also found by Wayne....is...well...I'd say nightmare inducing. And trust me I don't scare easy...but chances are if that was offered up as a real life "would you rather" I'd pick just about any god damn thing to avoid this....

My apologies for making you go blind, yet again.

oh and on a sidenote....

And without further a-do thanks to Wayne, the spider picture!!

(this picture makes my cooch hurt just looking at it)

It's amazing that I actually know someone who stumbled on this picture same as me.....
Now *ahem* SEE? I secretly hope that this is photo shopped only because this is the kinda damage a spider could do....

*shudder*

oh and on a sidenote...

I am still on my search for the epic shudder inducing spider picture....This what I've stumbled on...

I cant even count the numerous levels of awkwardness.
Lets start with the poor guy who had to tattoo this piece of "art" and then there's who ever was forced to take this picture...
Why? Oh why?

oh and on a sidenote...

 Maybe it's because I'm a giant hoe-bag, but...

My brain refuses to accept that this could be anything other than a boob. Meh, could be worse things I guess.

oh and on a sidenote...

Now this is epically creative defacement of public property.

oh and on a sidenote...

Nothing like a big glass of fecal coliform loaded orange juice first thing in the morning....

I'm thinking this little task might sting a bit.

oh and on a sidenote...

I would do this....

And add the post it's after too....
Actually I have done this...I wish I would have thought of the post it's then...

oh and on a sidenote...

I couldn't resist posting this one either....seriously, women actually use these products?!

Not to mention according to the listing:
* Continuous use of eye charm makes your eyelids permanent without surgery*
How the fuck is that possible?! If you spend the time and effort to tape your eyelids open they'll stay that way?!
Where's the duct tape? I'm going to tape my tits up under my chin and see how long it takes till they stay that way....

oh and on a sidenote...

So yes I do spend endless hours browsing on ebay, and every once and a while I stumble across gems....Like this....

The Nose Up

*snort* Did you read the packaging?!
What an amazing alternative to plastic surgery....muahhaaaaaa....So epically useless it's awesome.
AND! I shit you not this is an actual quote from the description

*Use this to help shape and lift your nose without the need for expensive plastic surgery.

The soft pads make it comfortable to wear use approximately 15 minutes a day.
10-15 minutes everyday,don't use under age 12

you can use it when you are driving, watching TV at home, taking a nap after lunch or go to sleep at night *

oh and on a sidenote....

I'm thinking I need to buy one of these for my better half...

Maybe I can get him to agree to wear it on the days he's in a bad mood. Then I'll know if he's wearing his balls shirt, I can just ignore him and let him be a dickhead in silence.

oh and on a sidenote...

This bullshit makes me furious...

 



I'm not just offended because I'm a smoker, but I'm fuckin offended because society thinks it's perfectly okay to ostracise smokers. And to that I say fuck you. It's fucking cool to be a lush and drink your face off, it's awesome if you want to pop pills and act like an idiot. It's even fine if you want to sit on your fat ass and gorge yourself to a whooping 500lbs....BUT god forbid you choose to smoke! No, no, feel free to make smart ass comments and try a belittle a smoker, no go ahead. Maybe we should start turning the tables a bit. I swear next time I see a fatty in McDonalds I'm gonna ask them if they think that's a good idea? Or even better I'm gonna ask them not to sit near me because I'm not fat and I find it rude that their eating near me.....Same goes for anyone else making their own stupid decisions around me.....
Feel free to send along some hate mail to the idiots here who think that this is acceptable.
Fuck you, you idiots.
*sigh* Usually I have a much better sense of humor. This is me just being fed the fuck up of being treated like a leper in society because I smoke.

oh and on a sidenote...

Look what I made mother fuckers! And, yeah, I'm sure your not actual literal mother fuckers...well maybe you are, and if you are, gross. But it's my new favorite word anyways and I'm test driving it. It was Douche Bag. I've moved on. For now. Douche Bag is still pretty awesome. Anyways!

Solid gold demon head muahahhahaaaaa......Ok, fuck off, it's paper mache, hot glue and spray paint. BUT it's still fucking awesome.

And some idiot dumped off this beauty at the second hand store! And I promptly snatched him up for a whopping $2.50 or something stupid like that. He was originally pastel colored, with a pink hat (WTF?) So I painted his ass too! I love him. I love gnomes. In a creepy way too. I named Carlos. He is my trophy.